It’s A Question We’re All Thinking
When it comes to attracting women, do your looks really matter? It may hurt some to hear that the short answer is “yes”. Unquestionably, one’s physical appearance plays a role in their attractiveness to the opposite sex. It’s not the most important thing, but it definitely plays a part in the dating game. But the truth is, being good looking is neither necessary nor sufficient to pick up women.
Average looking guys can get laid. Ugly guys can get laid. Good-looking guys can end up going home alone every weekend of their life. Does the good looking guy have an advantage? Sure. But there are plenty of ways to level the playing field.
So what can you do if you’re not a 6’2”, muscle-bound, tanned Channing Tatum lookalike?
Tips For Attracting Women
First, realise that it’s a numbers game. This may sound shallow, but the reason is that it’s a numbers game is because a lot of women are actually shallow. And that’s OK – it’s part of being a human. But you need to understand that some women simply will not date or sleep with a guy who has below average looks. Even if they can overlook below-average appearance, many women are conscious of being judged, and their friends may judge them for getting with a less attractive guy. Rather than spending time worried about the things you pretty much can’t change, you need to be prepared to get out there and put yourself in front of a LOT of girls until you find the one you click with. That doesn’t mean darting around a club until you find the drunkest girl in there, either. It just means not obsessing over that one girl who only cares about looks.
Second, realise how much her friend’s opinions matter. We all know of the apparent double standard that a man who sleeps with many women is a hero while a woman who sleeps with many men is a slut – and no woman wants to be labelled a slut by her friends. But the truth is a bit less black and white than “slut” or “hero”.
A man who sleeps with a herd of cows is still going to be labelled a slut. A woman who sleeps with a bunch of hollywood actors will be labelled a goddess and be the envy of her friends. So really, the issue here is that women are perceived to be generally attractive and men generally not. A woman who sleeps with many men is presumed to be sleeping with a bunch of unattractive men – and that’s why she’s a “slut”.
So you have two options. The first is to make her friends view you as attractive. Tell some stories that display a high social value, and almost focus more energy on attracting the friends than your actual target. The second option is to isolate her and work on the long close. Get her when she’s away from her friends, quickly build attraction, get her number, and then set up a date. But before you do, make sure you know what to do before you send the first text message.
Another question to ask yourself is whether you’re unattractive because of your face, your body, or your style. Your face is harder to change than the other two, but taking care of your skin and hitting the gym will certainly give you some benefit.
Your body requires some effort, but it will be well worth it – not only will your good looks make you more attractive, but your confidence will improve your game, and you will feel better physically and mentally. Seriously, get in the gym.
Your style is probably the easiest to change, and it will help flatter your body and face, too. Make sure your style is congruent with your personality. Don’t dress preppy if you listen to metal and love graphic design. Be yourself – women can tell if you’re faking it. Pick clothes that flatter your physique. Style is a whole topic in itself, so look at the Ultimate Guide To Mens Clothing or Ways To Become A Well Dressed Man if you need some help.
Finally, to be fair on the genetically-blessed amongst us, having above-average looks carries its own challenges. Where conventional pickup wisdom suggests you should be ignoring the traditional “tell her she’s beautiful and buy her flowers” in favour of “insult her and pull her hair”, a good-looking man doing this will reek of insecurity. If you’re good looking and find that the traditional pickup strategies aren’t working for you, try the “AFC” approach and genuinely compliment her. (Don’t go overboard, though – make sure you stay in control and maintain your alpha male persona.)
So there you have it. Yes, of course, looks do matter. But even the best-looking guy is going to struggle to pick up women if he has the personality of a wet towel. And there are some seriously bad-looking men who bang a girl almost every time they go out. Don’t let your looks be the focus of your attention. Get out there and talk to some girls!