Here’s What You Need To Know About Kissing A Girl
When it comes to kissing, there are typically two questions in the minds of people new to pickup – “How do I know if she wants to kiss me?”, and “How do I actually go about doing it?”
The good news is that the answers are one and the same. That is, the process of advancing for the kiss gives you strong feedback about her receptiveness. And, if done well, it increases your chances of success, too.
We’re going to assume that you’ve already managed to isolate her from her friends. If you try to kiss her in front of her friends, it’s going to be far more difficult.
Building The Mood
Once you’ve built up initial attraction verbally, the first step is to begin kino escalation. This term refers to the use of increasingly intimate physical touch to make a partner feel more comfortable with you and allow you to gauge their receptiveness to further intimacy. While talking, you make light contact with her hand, arm, shoulder, knee or back – all non-intimate places that are easily accessible in normal sitting or standing conversation positions.
Assuming she doesn’t pull away or get awkward when you touch her, you need to close the space between you. This is easier standing than seated, because when standing you can easily make small shifts to get closer. When seated, you have to lift up and shift your entire bodyweight, but it’s definitely possible to incorporate this into the flow of the conversation and your usual body language to make the movements less awkward.
You should also slow your talking down slightly, especially if you talk fast when you’re tense/nervous. Welcome silences; they are awkward when you’ve only just started a conversation, but golden when you’re building sexual tension.
Once the distance is closed, both you and her will be feeling the attraction. This is where everything comes together. We suggest trying one of the following two approaches:
Approach Number 1:
During a pause in conversation, look into her eyes, then deliberately down at her lips for about a second, then back into her eyes. Make sure that the glance at her lips is brief yet obvious. The idea is that you are allowing your eyes to betray your thoughts, effectively telling her you want to kiss her without saying it. She is likely also thinking that she wants to kiss you, and also afraid of rejection, so this nonverbal cue will make her more comfortable. A lot of the time, she will return some non-verbal cues of her own, such as smiling, biting her lip, or puppy dog eyes – but even if she doesn’t, now is the time to move in.
Approach Number 2:
Alternatively, you can try another approach popularised by the pickup artist known as Mystery. Simply say “Would you like to kiss me?”. The choice of wording is important here, as “Can I kiss you?” subverts you to her, giving her power over you. By asking her this question, you effectively create a scenario where you both understand that any answer other than “No” is a yes. It can be a risky move, as her answer is effectively an ultimatum – if she says no it’s game over, but if she says yes or gives any remotely playful response she is effectively committed to kissing you.
Once it’s time to move in for the kiss, move slowly enough that she has time to move slightly toward you, too. You should cover about 80% of the distance between the two of you, then allow her to start moving toward you before you cover the rest of the distance.
Congratulations, you did it. You kissed the girl. This certainly isn’t the only way to kiss a girl, but it’s a great routine to have in mind while you’re still building confidence. Once you’ve started kissing her, you should continue kino escalation by touching her face and under her neck. From there, it’s your choice whether you get her number and set up a another date, or try to go home together that night. Good luck!